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On The Left Side: The Funny Football Show


Aug 20, 2018

Jose Mourinho is not happy. In other not news, Spurs are having trouble with the builders and could it be the end of the world as La Liga heads to the Wild West. Plus Barnsley Football Club might not be the most supported club in the world, but it could be the most supportive of you.

On The Left Side is written and produced by Ant McGinley and Jim Salveson, There's also video content we make out there on youtube which you can watch here

The theme tune is written and performed by Katalina Kicks and appears with their kind permission. Other music in this episode:  Steffen Daum - Between Dragons and Humans, and Solo Acoustic Guitar by Jason Shaw, appear under creative commons 3.0 license

SFX made in-house and from www.freesfx.co.uk

Follow us on twitter @ontheleftside

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SHOW194TRANSCRIPT

This isn't a Manchester United podcast. Really, I promise.

I do TRY and talk about other football clubs but, somehow, the complete shit-stormory of Manchester United somehow always draws me back in... and for that you have Jose Mourinho to thank.

There is more drama right now at Old Trafford than your average episode of Eastenders and as much pent up anger as a Phil Mitchell meltdown.

Although you wouldn't know it when you listened to the big man who is saying all the right things... even when it comes to the tensions between Jose and Paul Pogba.

 

"Couldn't be happier with Paul Pogba"

 

I mean he's SAYING all the right things he's just clearly not MEANING all the right things.

 

Maybe football managers just don't understand the emotion "Happy". Certainly it seemed to be something that Pep Guardiola struggled with last season.

 

Maybe something is getting lost in translation somewhere and these foreign managers don't actually understand what happy means. Could they think it actually is another word for miserable? Or lonely? or suffering from a terrible existential crisis?

 

Or maybe its just not a very "footbally" word is it. DELIGHTED with the win. BUZZING for the boys. THRILLED to be joining the club but "Happy"... nah, doesn't fit does it.

 

You'd think that if he was REALLY happy with Pogba he'd have congratulated him on his World Cup winners medal rather than publicly used his excellent showing on the world stage to suggest he maybe wasn't giving his all for the boys in Red wouldn't you... at least he hasn't had a go at his haircut yet, he can leave that to Graeme Souness's weekly whinge.

 

Really Jose should just be happy that his team has somewhere to play football right now because Mauricio Pochettino can't say the same!

 

Tottenham Hotspur now know what anyone who has ever worked with a builder before knows... predicted costs and times of work carried out bare as much resemblance to reality as the picture of a Big Mac on the McDonalds drive through menu does to the soggy, sweaty lump of a sandwich that gets shoved through the drive-thru window 10mins before closing time.

 

With virtually no grasp on the concept of irony Spurs have chosen the same week in which they announced their lucrative new deal with "official timing partner" Swiss watchmakers IWC Schaffhausen they have also revealed that the opening of White Hart Lane the sequel has been postponed again... presumably because everyone was too busy trying to copy that weird celebration thing that Dele Alli did with his hand last weekend?

 

Not such a bad thing you'd think as they'll just up sticks and play down the local park instead... or Wembley or something.

 

However, with the NFL rolling into town in a few weeks to play in the national stadium it DOES leave the club potentially homeless for their up-coming match against Manchester City.

 

Time to call in the big boys.

"This week on DIY SOS we lend a helping hand to Daniel who has been forced to stay with neighbours for over a year now after his ambitious plans for home improvements over-ran.

 

And It took a turn for the worst for Daniel last week when Jack from Birmingham let him down at the last minute leaving him very short of manpower.

 

We’re here to see if we can help him out… but this is Spurs… so it’s all bound just to go tits up at the last minute anyway.”

 

If Tottenham REALLY can’t find anywhere to play then they could always pack up their balls and head stateside… because that’s where La Liga are going!

 

An official announcement this week confirmed that the Spanish league will be hosting their first ever regular season match OUTSIDE of Europe and IN the good old U S of A as part of an agreement to spread football stateside ahead of the 2026 World Cup.

 

La Liga president said that…

 

“We are devoted to growing the passion for soccer around the world”

Which is great and I’m sure will mean La Liga matches will follow in other burgeoning footballing areas with a passion for the sport like… Syria, Mali and The Sudan ...or do they just mean parts of the world with loads of money? Yeah, probably that.

 

There are two ways to look at this…

 

One, it’s the end of football as we know it. More shall come. The Premier League will be playing season openers on the Arctic Circle and Match of the Day will be broadcast from the surface of the moon because of a sponsorship deal with Virgin Galactic before we know it. Clubs will break away into a Global Super League where all london clubs will compete under one badge as Capital United playing meaningless, passionate but lucrative games around the world. Rivers will boil. Fire will fall from the sky and Paul Merson will be crowned lord and master of all. End. Of. Times.

OR… Its just the inevitable globalisation of the sport, at the end of the day the match-going fans are a low priority now days and at least we’ll have the comedy value of Donald Trump doing  celebratory keepy ups in the centre circle before El Classico kicks off inside the Yankee Stadium.

 

But all the fan bitching about stadiums and trans-atlantic games and all the Jose moaning has been put into perspective this week by one small gesture from Barnsley football club.

 

Tykes CEO Gauthier Ganaye (good luck pronouncing that one) had noticed that lifelong fan Chris Ryder was going through a, in his words, "Tough Time" right now and so took it upon himself to write a personal letter to the fan.

 

Here's a bit of what it said...

"Dear Chris

Sorry for sending you a letter at random but, I felt like I wanted reach out to you and get in touch. I've noticed through social media that you'd had a bit of a hard time recently, I'm not sure what it is but I hope everything improves for you as soon as possible.

 

You've been a fan of the club for many years and always supported us .so we want you to know if the favour needs returning and we need to support you let us know. My door is always open."

 

How bloody brilliant is that?

 

Football's a game that has struggled to recognise mental health issues.... it's often seen as a mark of weakness rather than a serious condition and here we have someone going above and beyond. Stepping up to the mark and extending a helping hand.

 

Plus, if a stranger can reach out unprompted to help someone surely for you and me, picking up a phone and checking on a friend or colleague or neighbour is just OK... is literally the least we can do

 

I love it when football does stuff like this.

 

The sport gets a bad rap at times. Players behave like dicks and then non-football fans are quick to shout "You wouldn't get a cricketer doing that" or "wouldn't happen in rugby" but now you have Barnsley doing THIS whilst England cricketer Ben Stokes is having punch ups in nightclubs and Rugby's Danny Cipriani is thumping bouncers...

 

Maybe FOOTBALL is now the one setting the good example? and for that reasons we should all be terrified.

 

 

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SOLO ACOUSTIC GUITAR by Jason Shaw http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jas... Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0 United States— CC BY 3.0 US http://creativecommons.org/licenses/b... Music promoted by Audio Library https://youtu.be/4M9Puanhdac

 

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